The Rebel

Wonderful, strong part of us that has helped us to survive - and needs to be honored and praised for that - but can get us in trouble because he/she wants to rebel against any advice or direction including good/healthy feedback, and can be very stubborn. Often is the source of "I'll show you, I'll get me" behavior.

It is very important to learn to set boundaries with the rebel within in order to learn how to surrender/let go/accept the Divine Plan for our lives. The faster that I have been able to learn to let go of my will/my picture of how things "should be" - and surrender to accepting the Universe's plan the more I get to follow the carrots/the messages and avoid the stick.

"The way I think of it is that my Higher Power works with the carrot and stick approach: like a mule driver trying to get a mule moving, he can either dangle a carrot in front of the mule and get the mule moving after the carrot, or he can take a stick and beat him until he gets moving.

It is a lot easier on me to follow the carrots that my Higher Power dangles in front of me than to force the Universe to use a stick to get me moving. Either way I am going to get to where the Universe wants me - but the carrot method is a lot easier on me.

The more that I do my healing, the clearer I get on receiving the messages - the more I get to follow the carrots instead of experiencing the stick. The dance of Recovery is a process of starting to Love ourselves enough to start changing life into an easier, more enjoyable experience."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

On the other extreme are people with a fear of owning their own anger who shut down to the rebel within and then have a very difficult time setting boundaries so they end up being a doormat. These people need to own and empower the rebel within to help them stand up for themselves. This, of course, is tied in with believing that we are worthy of protection - which means we need to have compassion for that child that we were and stop blaming everything on ourselves/being the victim of our childhood wounds.


Idealistic, dreamer, lover, creative part of us that is a wonderful asset when kept in balance - can lead to disastrous consequences when allowed to be in control of choices. Not good on taking responsible action would rather day dream about fairy tales and fantasies than deal with reality/grow up.

We often swing between:

    Letting the romantic be in control - in which case the romantic wants the fairy tale so badly that he/she inevitably ignores all the red flags and warning signals that tell us very clearly that this is not the "right" person to cast in the part of the prince or princess;
    Shutting down completely to this part of us because of the broken hearts we have experienced - throwing the romantic within into a dark dungeon inside and locking the door for years at a time. This often causes to become cynical, lose are ability to dream, give so much power to the fear of making of a "mistake" that we can lose the ability to risk opening up to the Joy of being Alive in the moment.

It is very important to find some balance with this part of ourselves in order to have any chance of success in a Romantic Relationship. The romantic is a wonderful part of us that can help our Spirits to dance and sing and soar. If we do not trust ourselves to be able to set boundaries for the romantic part of ourselves we can often sabotage relationships by being controlling and/or running away out of our fear of being hurt.